








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5985 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5357 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3889 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4075 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,721,343 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanner | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | cobalt | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | SayYouWill | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | DANK1NG | 56% | 71 |
| #5 | Soviet Steel | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayYouWill | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Soviet Steel | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | cobalt | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | tanner | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | DANK1NG | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayYouWill | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | cobalt | 105 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Soviet Steel | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | DANK1NG | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | tanner | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tanner | +4.85 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | 杀你很多 | +4.23 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | SayYouWill | +2.94 | 84 | 42 |
| #4 | cobalt | +1.34 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | Soviet Steel | -0.69 | 73 | 56 |





