








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 257 | 22% |
| Smokes | 298 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 293 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 296 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,072 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Quack | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | DaimonAngel | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | Ancros | 100% | 5 |
| #4 | Red | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Hoozh | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darke- | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | Ancros | 2 | 0.0211 |
| #3 | kay225 | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Hoozh | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Lordie | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nrb | 35 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | Hoozh | 29 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Red | 17 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | DaimonAngel | 12 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | kay225 | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ancros | +11.85 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | DaimonAngel | +8.61 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | Hoozh | +7.57 | 96 | 66 |
| #4 | Darke- | +5.95 | 83 | 46 |
| #5 | nrb | +3.51 | 89 | 64 |





