








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3070 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2526 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1058 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2639 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,904 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | nopahanski | 49% | 265 |
| #8 | B.B. Korhonen | 49% | 164 |
| #9 | Osteri0ssi | 46% | 282 |
| #10 | Y0ungThug | 45% | 62 |
| #11 | ♛Osmo(Y)♛ | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osteri0ssi | 46 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | nopahanski | 39 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Johnny Cali | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | B.B. Korhonen | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Masa | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osteri0ssi | 484 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Johnny Cali | 264 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | B.B. Korhonen | 224 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Thoompsoni | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Y0ungThug | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |





