








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 25% |
| Smokes | 796 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1088 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 851 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,784 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tondeum | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Reno | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | jemmis | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | joke | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | adreh | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | saviruukku | 44% | 34 |
| #13 | Jesus BLÖä Munaus | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Jimm | 38% | 8 |
| #15 | janne. | 22% | 9 |
| #16 | JTT | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvaariomies | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | kusipaska2 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Ropsu | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | saviruukku | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Reno | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvaariomies | 296 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | kusipaska2 | 168 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | saviruukku | 102 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ropsu | 101 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Reno | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akvaariomies | +2.73 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | kusipaska2 | +1.08 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | rraimi | +1.00 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | Jimm | +0.77 | 61 | 82 |
| #5 | jemmis | +0.60 | 66 | 71 |





