








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1539 | 37% |
| Smokes | 983 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 555 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1045 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,449 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sid | 68% | 77 |
| #2 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 65% | 84 |
| #3 | 5h4rpy | 64% | 97 |
| #4 | olliedum | 64% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sid | 68% | 77 |
| #2 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 65% | 84 |
| #3 | 5h4rpy | 64% | 97 |
| #4 | olliedum | 64% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5h4rpy | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Sid | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5h4rpy | 408 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sid | 375 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | olliedum | 357 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | 299 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flobba420 | +5.36 | 73 | 40 |
| #2 | ◢◤ J4ck ◢◤ | +0.83 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | olliedum | -0.61 | 72 | 62 |
| #4 | 5h4rpy | -0.90 | 50 | 50 |
| #5 | Sid | -1.33 | 54 | 53 |





