








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5066 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2636 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2568 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2144 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,025 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirboobie | 56% | 131 |
| #2 | T S U Y U R I | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | ✪ Huh | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | BuiZai | 51% | 151 |
| #5 | NAISU GEMU | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryan | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Screwdriver | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Kirboobie | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✪ Huh | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | T S U Y U R I | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Screwdriver | 1263 | 0.27 | 31 min |
| #2 | Kirboobie | 759 | 0.28 | 21 min |
| #3 | ryan | 477 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | BuiZai | 269 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | NAISU GEMU | 116 | 0.23 | 3 min |





