










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1388 | 30% |
| Smokes | 712 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1005 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $225,559 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spdy | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | registered ___ offender | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | BeltFedCones | 45% | 130 |
| #4 | Ophos | 41% | 135 |
| #5 | Madelyn | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ophos | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | BeltFedCones | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | registered ___ offender | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Madelyn | 4 | 0.0110 |
| #5 | spdy | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ophos | 150 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Madelyn | 123 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #3 | registered ___ offender | 101 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | BeltFedCones | 85 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | spdy | 69 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madelyn | +4.05 | 71 | 73 |
| #2 | spdy | +2.45 | 67 | 51 |
| #3 | registered ___ offender | +2.24 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Ophos | +2.22 | 43 | 41 |
| #5 | BeltFedCones | -0.08 | 27 | 39 |





