








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4681 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4619 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2995 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4817 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,446,671 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 399 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pred | 67% | 76 |
| #2 | Madelyn | 57% | 168 |
| #3 | Mosquito | 53% | 210 |
| #4 | spdy | 51% | 433 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pred | 67% | 76 |
| #2 | Madelyn | 57% | 168 |
| #3 | Mosquito | 53% | 210 |
| #4 | spdy | 51% | 433 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spdy | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Madelyn | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mosquito | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | pred | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Madelyn | 1250 | 0.35 | 42 min |
| #2 | spdy | 918 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #3 | Mosquito | 352 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | pred | 303 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pred | +3.68 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Madelyn | +1.69 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | registered ___ offender | +0.45 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Mosquito | -0.08 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | spdy | -0.48 | 68 | 56 |





