








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 650 | 25% |
| Smokes | 540 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 351 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,511 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phatkez | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Peeved | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Sjak | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | ott1 | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | zÄpo vAc | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phatkez | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Peeved | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Sjak | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | ott1 | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | zÄpo vAc | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peeved | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | zÄpo vAc | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjak | 149 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Peeved | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | ott1 | 17 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | zÄpo vAc | 11 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Phatkez | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peeved | +3.51 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | Beenit | +2.54 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | zÄpo vAc | +0.50 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | Sjak | -0.49 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | ott1 | -2.38 | 65 | 45 |





