








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,734 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1525 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,524 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doby | 62% | 139 |
| #2 | Bickie | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | Zynisch | 60% | 172 |
| #4 | Verdia | 57% | 56 |
| #5 | Hard-Boiled | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doby | 62% | 139 |
| #2 | Bickie | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | Zynisch | 60% | 172 |
| #4 | Verdia | 57% | 56 |
| #5 | Hard-Boiled | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zynisch | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | doby | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Bickie | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Verdia | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bickie | 485 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Zynisch | 446 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | doby | 332 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Verdia | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hard-Boiled | 30 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waraze | +2.79 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | doby | +1.41 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Bickie | -0.11 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Zynisch | -1.65 | 53 | 63 |
| #5 | Verdia | -1.85 | 64 | 33 |





