








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4061 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4366 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3639 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2692 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,600,596 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | framed | 56% | 80 |
| #2 | Tyler | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | business cat tito | 48% | 321 |
| #4 | Shavargo | 47% | 70 |
| #5 | fregley | 47% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyler | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | fregley | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | StrawHatZar | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Shupti | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | framed | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | framed | 406 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | business cat tito | 264 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #3 | fregley | 253 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | Shupti | 231 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | StrawHatZar | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |





