








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5199 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2572 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4420 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3534 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,822 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 667 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vl$ ⏅ | 54% | 56 |
| #2 | useless bottomfragger | 50% | 147 |
| #3 | Leesamu | 49% | 211 |
| #4 | Johhku | 47% | 235 |
| #5 | Riksoni♡ | 47% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leesamu | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Riksoni♡ | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ✪Samppi | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Johhku | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | useless bottomfragger | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riksoni♡ | 545 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Johhku | 541 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✪Samppi | 519 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Leesamu | 514 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #5 | useless bottomfragger | 359 | 0.11 | 10 min |





