








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4079 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1025 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2574 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2866 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,999,246 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 838 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yippee | 62% | 233 |
| #2 | Billy the Bogan | 52% | 142 |
| #3 | pisstester | 51% | 894 |
| #4 | IG WOLF | 50% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yippee | 62% | 233 |
| #2 | Billy the Bogan | 52% | 142 |
| #3 | pisstester | 51% | 894 |
| #4 | IG WOLF | 50% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pisstester | 22 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Yippee | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Billy the Bogan | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | IG WOLF | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pisstester | 483 | 0.03 | 11 min |
| #2 | IG WOLF | 400 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Billy the Bogan | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yippee | 74 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yippee | +5.49 | 72 | 27 |
| #2 | pisstester | +2.62 | 79 | 29 |
| #3 | IG WOLF | -0.81 | 41 | 38 |
| #4 | Sliiq II KuStOm | -1.65 | 56 | 29 |
| #5 | Billy the Bogan | -2.27 | 50 | 46 |





