








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1056 | 21% |
| Smokes | 679 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1915 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1479 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,679,832 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 891 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nonnikcm Samoht | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | clu0od | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Ryderlx2 | 46% | 160 |
| #4 | john f kennedy | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | benjamin | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | clu0od | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Ryderlx2 | 46% | 160 |
| #4 | john f kennedy | 39% | 36 |
| #5 | benjamin | 30% | 33 |
| #6 | largestoak595 | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryderlx2 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | john f kennedy | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | benjamin | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | largestoak595 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Nonnikcm Samoht | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryderlx2 | 126 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | john f kennedy | 117 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | largestoak595 | 103 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | benjamin | 52 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | clu0od | 14 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjamin | +3.03 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | plump | -0.00 | 61 | 42 |
| #3 | largestoak595 | -0.07 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | clu0od | -0.93 | 31 | 35 |
| #5 | john f kennedy | -2.14 | 44 | 43 |





