








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3791 | 52% |
| Smokes | 1332 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1501 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,698 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 939 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1toomany | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | -iwnl- Samo2k | 51% | 184 |
| #3 | Sachi | 48% | 229 |
| #4 | Roronoa Zoro | 48% | 293 |
| #5 | Eclipse | 47% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eclipse | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Roronoa Zoro | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Sachi | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | -iwnl- Samo2k | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 1toomany | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roronoa Zoro | 686 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Eclipse | 668 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | 1toomany | 227 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | -iwnl- Samo2k | 121 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sachi | 71 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1toomany | +2.92 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | yikes | +2.68 | 87 | 46 |
| #3 | Roronoa Zoro | +0.55 | 46 | 55 |
| #4 | -iwnl- Samo2k | -0.95 | 68 | 40 |
| #5 | Sachi | -1.53 | 39 | 16 |





