








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3508 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3212 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2947 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2795 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,600 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 93% | 29 |
| #2 | Lonewatcher | 75% | 77 |
| #3 | Poplockz | 75% | 172 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 68% | 19 |
| #5 | Umari0 | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Poplockz | 75% | 172 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 68% | 19 |
| #5 | Umari0 | 65% | 23 |
| #6 | Bark | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | kali | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poplockz | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Lonewatcher | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Bark | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | kali | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poplockz | 416 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 191 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lonewatcher | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bark | 113 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 62 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | +6.83 | 90 | 83 |
| #2 | Woffel | +5.41 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Poplockz | +1.12 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | Lonewatcher | +0.96 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Umari0 | +0.85 | 80 | 50 |





