








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3024 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4656 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2457 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2634 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,898 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 90% | 31 |
| #2 | Woffel | 75% | 172 |
| #3 | Lonewatcher | 68% | 136 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 90% | 31 |
| #2 | Woffel | 75% | 172 |
| #3 | Lonewatcher | 68% | 136 |
| #4 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woffel | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Lonewatcher | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 3 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woffel | 674 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | Lonewatcher | 296 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | 196 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woffel | +7.37 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | Nobodyyyyyyy =] | +7.08 | 90 | 81 |
| #3 | Lonewatcher | +1.42 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Poplockz | +0.77 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | 𝓑𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 | +0.44 | 44 | 57 |





