








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4289 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3662 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2791 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3151 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,580,197 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow.Ntc | 63% | 141 |
| #2 | wizwaz. | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Zakawy | 47% | 207 |
| #4 | cat with coke | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | soka | 43% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wizwaz. | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Zakawy | 47% | 207 |
| #4 | cat with coke | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | soka | 43% | 207 |
| #6 | misslovesick | 42% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cat with coke | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Zakawy | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | soka | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Crow.Ntc | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | misslovesick | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zakawy | 812 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | soka | 561 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | misslovesick | 271 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | cat with coke | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | wizwaz. | 148 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexySlav | +4.38 | 94 | 56 |
| #2 | Zakawy | +2.13 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | Crow.Ntc | +0.46 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | cat with coke | -1.38 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | wizwaz. | -2.27 | 68 | 57 |





