








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2075 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2245 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 932 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1838 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,002 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | 나 름 | 71% | 34 |
| #13 | CAPTAIN MORRIS | 68% | 47 |
| #14 | Howzer | 68% | 31 |
| #15 | Vae victis | 67% | 27 |
| #16 | davik | 63% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zz | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | 𝙃𝘽 ✿ | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Nacas | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN MORRIS | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Howzer | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R | +6.89 | 94 | 71 |
| #2 | zz | +4.84 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | Nal3jezzz ⚡ | +4.15 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN MORRIS | +3.72 | 80 | 77 |
| #5 | 10 | +3.40 | 93 | 53 |





