








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 324 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3811 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3220 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4748 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4638 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,336 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rydahl | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Niko | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Kermit The Lion | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | Gandalf | 57% | 104 |
| #5 | SteenD | 57% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☘ | 699 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | SteenD | 407 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | VillyMaximus | 329 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Helge Adam | 257 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #5 | Rydahl | 118 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SteenD | +3.99 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Gandalf | +2.49 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | VillyMaximus | +1.56 | 66 | 74 |
| #4 | Skou | +1.13 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Rydahl | -0.03 | 66 | 70 |





