








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 451 | 7% |
| Smokes | 2643 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1250 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,673 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖔 | 48% | 90 |
| #2 | [CM]Lucifer | 45% | 206 |
| #3 | RR 9.1 | 44% | 127 |
| #4 | Zeruta | 44% | 151 |
| #5 | Capitaine Hardrok | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR 9.1 | 28 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖔 | 27 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | [CM]Lucifer | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Zeruta | 17 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Capitaine Hardrok | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖔 | 247 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zeruta | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | [CM]Lucifer | 145 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | RR 9.1 | 120 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Capitaine Hardrok | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR 9.1 | +5.88 | 86 | 37 |
| #2 | Capitaine Hardrok | +4.78 | 95 | 52 |
| #3 | 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖔 | +4.06 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Zeruta | +0.65 | 56 | 57 |
| #5 | ベルセルク | -0.52 | 50 | 35 |





