








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5941 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4890 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4009 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4668 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,765 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 560 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ブアジン | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | ANCESTRAL | 61% | 117 |
| #3 | Picard | 57% | 239 |
| #4 | gabriel | 57% | 166 |
| #5 | pnb | 54% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Picard | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | pnb | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | MNR9 | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | gabriel | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ANCESTRAL | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Picard | 1883 | 0.37 | 47 min |
| #2 | ANCESTRAL | 664 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | pnb | 601 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #4 | gabriel | 434 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | MNR9 | 395 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabriel | +1.72 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | ANCESTRAL | +1.45 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | ブアジン | +0.81 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | LtN | +0.80 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | Picard | +0.53 | 64 | 77 |





