








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 31% |
| Smokes | 290 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 245 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 254 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,982 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oArtiix | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | SandyDigger | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | C.C. | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | pewpew | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | JDED | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | C.C. | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | pewpew | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | JDED | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | Talon | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talon | 8 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | JDED | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | SandyDigger | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | pewpew | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDED | 104 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | Talon | 51 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | SandyDigger | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | | 23 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | C.C. | 22 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bolekutt | +5.19 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | | +1.38 | 81 | 43 |
| #3 | JDED | +0.89 | 87 | 63 |
| #4 | SandyDigger | +0.78 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | C.C. | -1.64 | 68 | 25 |





