








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 902 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 132 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3375 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4711 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5268 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3694 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,691,626 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 385 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Toni | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Schwabi | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | Bobo | 47% | 248 |
| #6 | Pfarero | 45% | 326 |
| #7 | menthol_ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pfarero | 35 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Bobo | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Schwabi | 22 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Toni | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | ChernoBilly | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobo | 349 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pfarero | 307 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | Schwabi | 228 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Toni | 220 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ChernoBilly | 132 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schwabi | +2.57 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | ChernoBilly | +1.59 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | menthol_ | +0.38 | 41 | 60 |
| #4 | Toni | +0.04 | 35 | 59 |
| #5 | Pfarero | -0.08 | 62 | 53 |





