








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1610 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2156 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2417 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,437 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★𝐂𝐉𝐊★ | 56% | 144 |
| #2 | C1B4 | 56% | 140 |
| #3 | Kankarus | 53% | 212 |
| #4 | Noname | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★𝐂𝐉𝐊★ | 56% | 144 |
| #2 | C1B4 | 56% | 140 |
| #3 | Kankarus | 53% | 212 |
| #4 | Noname | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kankarus | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | C1B4 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ★𝐂𝐉𝐊★ | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kankarus | 622 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | ★𝐂𝐉𝐊★ | 395 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | C1B4 | 263 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Noname | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kankarus | +1.89 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | C1B4 | +0.43 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Jess1Le | +0.10 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | ★𝐂𝐉𝐊★ | +0.09 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Noname | -0.49 | 70 | 45 |





