










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1383 | 31% |
| Smokes | 870 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1026 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,178 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CyrusCS | 56% | 160 |
| #5 | No Friends | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | 🐔 | 46% | 67 |
| #7 | Blake | 45% | 88 |
| #8 | ♖ demise ♜ | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyrusCS | 408 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | 🐔 | 268 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | No Friends | 187 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #4 | Blake | 161 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ♖ demise ♜ | 120 | 0.23 | 3 min |





