








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 728 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1235 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 947 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 936 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,726 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | 55% | 100 |
| #2 | Frothy Discharge Doctor | 47% | 49 |
| #3 | ZebrA | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | James Moore | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | DoodleBlob | 44% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | James Moore | 46% | 82 |
| #5 | DoodleBlob | 44% | 112 |
| #6 | _Knoxy | 43% | 152 |
| #7 | Bitconnect | 38% | 58 |
| #8 | Bitconnect | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _Knoxy | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Geoff | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | James Moore | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | DoodleBlob | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Bitconnect | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | 228 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | _Knoxy | 138 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bitconnect | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | James Moore | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | DoodleBlob | 55 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geoff | +7.05 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Bitconnect | +6.31 | 80 | 47 |
| #3 | Bitconnect | +4.87 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Frothy Discharge Doctor | -0.13 | 54 | 36 |
| #5 | ZebrA | -0.36 | 47 | 41 |





