








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1503 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2587 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2774 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,927 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Skysong | 39% | 28 |
| #9 | Shiv | 37% | 191 |
| #10 | AcornNuggets | 35% | 17 |
| #11 | TheChickenOwner | 32% | 73 |
| #12 | Candy Corn Buddah | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiv | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | jax- | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | wAKe | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | TheChickenOwner | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | iiCaptain | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jax- | 462 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | wAKe | 392 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shiv | 345 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Skysong | 171 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | iiCaptain | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |





