








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 854 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 995 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1228 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,129 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1L- | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Drückeberger | 49% | 63 |
| #3 | Tris | 45% | 99 |
| #4 | War Pig | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | LenkradLuci | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bl4ckspell | 38% | 39 |
| #8 | YB | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | füße lutschen | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | srebbiT | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | CowHitFace | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tris | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Drückeberger | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | srebbiT | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | LenkradLuci | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | FlyingFero | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tris | 402 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Drückeberger | 283 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bl4ckspell | 132 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | srebbiT | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | LenkradLuci | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | füße lutschen | +3.80 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Drückeberger | +1.63 | 75 | 78 |
| #3 | srebbiT | +1.38 | 93 | 59 |
| #4 | Tris | +1.26 | 84 | 66 |
| #5 | CowHitFace | +0.97 | 86 | 72 |





