








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
381 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 480 | 35% |
| Smokes | 412 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $133,012 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | UselessTrash | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | Molle | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | RabbitFootsCookie | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | sweg | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | ✪Alle | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweg | 7 | 0.0287 |
| #2 | UselessTrash | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweg | +3.20 | 55 | 38 |
| #2 | Friggin | +2.32 | 63 | 59 |
| #3 | ✪Alle | +0.83 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | RabbitFootsCookie | -1.19 | 59 | 32 |
| #5 | UselessTrash | -2.72 | 42 | 13 |





