








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3701 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3559 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3003 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2249 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,658 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KaBoooM | 46% | 121 |
| #6 | Evolution | 46% | 253 |
| #7 | Antifus | 46% | 240 |
| #8 | DREAM ❤ | 37% | 38 |
| #9 | -GARRY3- | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evolution | 56 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | sori | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | KaBoooM | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Riderwalker | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | DREAM ❤ | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antifus | 471 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | sori | 456 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | KaBoooM | 434 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Evolution | 297 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | -GARRY3- | 210 | 0.14 | 6 min |





