








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 268 matches | ||
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,502 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2783 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2716 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4139 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3864 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,296,681 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evolution | 84 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | KaBoooM | 31 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Nuse | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Antifus | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Riderwalker | 11 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuse | 1069 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Antifus | 731 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | KaBoooM | 596 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | Evolution | 419 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | -GARRY3- | 396 | 0.15 | 10 min |





