








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2395 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1802 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1866 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,095 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡Selly♡ | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | Helmet | 55% | 190 |
| #3 | Zinedine ZywOo | 54% | 198 |
| #4 | ernstjakob | 53% | 220 |
| #5 | Hauptmann | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡Selly♡ | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | Helmet | 55% | 190 |
| #3 | Zinedine ZywOo | 54% | 198 |
| #4 | ernstjakob | 53% | 220 |
| #5 | Hauptmann | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ernstjakob | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Helmet | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Zinedine ZywOo | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ♡Selly♡ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zinedine ZywOo | 1242 | 0.30 | 35 min |
| #2 | ernstjakob | 915 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #3 | Helmet | 454 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Hauptmann | 243 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♡Selly♡ | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Everest | +2.15 | 60 | 56 |
| #2 | ♡Selly♡ | +0.62 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | Zinedine ZywOo | +0.42 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | Helmet | +0.23 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | ernstjakob | -0.51 | 68 | 64 |





