








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1689 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1819 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1614 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,825 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R34ZON | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | FloPPy | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | 91.PzG| Juan/ZION/✡ | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | feNei | 57% | 79 |
| #5 | SchwaByyjee | 54% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SchwaByyjee | 862 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | R34ZON | 327 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | feNei | 325 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | FloPPy | 185 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ JPK | 184 | 0.08 | 5 min |





