








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2803 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2881 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3315 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3460 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,470,497 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lehnsen | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | »Kittyhawk« | 70% | 43 |
| #3 | Majo | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | DeltΔ | 64% | 53 |
| #5 | GoTTi | 58% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | SchwaByyjee | 52% | 63 |
| #13 | Bash | 50% | 52 |
| #14 | feNei | 46% | 167 |
| #15 | FloPPy | 43% | 23 |
| #16 | ✪ JPK | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeltΔ | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | GoTTi | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SchwaByyjee | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Bash | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | »Kittyhawk« | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feNei | 705 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | GoTTi | 571 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #3 | JetBlacK0311 | 397 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | SchwaByyjee | 253 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Majo | 185 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Kittyhawk« | +2.43 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | MGhehehe | +1.26 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Majo | +1.06 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | JetBlacK0311 | +0.73 | 84 | 74 |
| #5 | feNei | +0.69 | 74 | 76 |





