








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 661 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,330 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaXzOoo | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | the black asian | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | xilla | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | eGE "-" | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | .𝙨𝙚𝙯 | 49% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .𝙨𝙚𝙯 | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | the black asian | 8 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Xpree | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | CaXzOoo | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .𝙨𝙚𝙯 | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | the black asian | 155 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | xilla | 94 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | eGE "-" | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | CaXzOoo | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eGE "-" | +3.28 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | the black asian | +2.04 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | xilla | +0.76 | 81 | 78 |
| #4 | Xpree | +0.59 | 91 | 46 |
| #5 | CaXzOoo | +0.37 | 87 | 63 |





