








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2761 | 47% |
| Smokes | 1301 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1383 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,169 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaQxx | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | ErkyG | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | Ruler | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | Kalamies | 66% | 73 |
| #5 | Aleksei | 61% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalamies | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | WaQxx | 6 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Druidical | 5 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | ErkyG | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Aleksei | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksei | 282 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪ JamppaY | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | WaQxx | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Naapuri | 70 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kalamies | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |





