








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
87 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 22% |
| Smokes | 108 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 93 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $49,436 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kunntzi | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Mide | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Oj | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | Samulizio | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | iMMol | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mide | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Oj | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | Samulizio | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | iMMol | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | Jubkone ヅ | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMMol | 62 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | kunntzi | 41 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | Oj | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Samulizio | 24 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mide | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kunntzi | +2.67 | 67 | 70 |
| #2 | Mide | +2.24 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | iMMol | +2.08 | 77 | 80 |
| #4 | Oj | -1.46 | 52 | 69 |
| #5 | Jubkone ヅ | -1.50 | 52 | 38 |





