








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 520 | 24% |
| Smokes | 562 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 577 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,698 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kunntzi | 45% | 38 |
| #2 | Jubkone ヅ | 44% | 32 |
| #3 | Pyrhiss | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Monnari | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Mide | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pyrhiss | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Monnari | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | Mide | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | iMMol | 30% | 23 |
| #7 | Samulizio | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kunntzi | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Jubkone ヅ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMMol | 165 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #2 | kunntzi | 123 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pyrhiss | 64 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Samulizio | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mide | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iMMol | +2.27 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | kunntzi | +0.81 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | Mide | +0.46 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | Jubkone ヅ | -0.28 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Oj | -0.69 | 56 | 70 |





