










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 15% |
| Smokes | 529 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 808 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $650,071 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | middle fingers 2 that reggie | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Fingers | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | ErastusJack | 52% | 91 |
| #4 | Energy Pills | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | middle fingers 2 that reggie | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Fingers | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | ErastusJack | 52% | 91 |
| #4 | Energy Pills | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ErastusJack | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Energy Pills | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Energy Pills | 296 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | ErastusJack | 135 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fingers | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | middle fingers 2 that reggie | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Energy Pills | +1.24 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | ErastusJack | +1.19 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | middle fingers 2 that reggie | +0.73 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | xandog | -2.37 | 68 | 43 |
| #5 | Fingers | -2.44 | 56 | 58 |





