








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 249 | 44% |
| Smokes | 102 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 150 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,125 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple Simpson | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Zentle | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Tornado | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | el camino veteran | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | el camino twink | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | el camino veteran | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | el camino twink | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Flamboyant | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Angel.Dusk | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | TwoTapTony | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel.Dusk | 2 | 0.0290 |
| #2 | el camino twink | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el camino veteran | 55 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | TwoTapTony | 41 | 0.35 | 0 min |
| #3 | Tornado | 18 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flamboyant | 15 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Angel.Dusk | 7 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel.Dusk | +6.63 | 69 | 31 |
| #2 | Zentle | +4.33 | 89 | 28 |
| #3 | certified right-clicker | +3.66 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | TwoTapTony | +2.43 | 20 | 48 |
| #5 | el camino veteran | +1.50 | 75 | 62 |





