








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 15% |
| Smokes | 718 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 353 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,398 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boller dig også i morgen | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | dillern | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Sönder | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Ejsern | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | magi | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boller dig også i morgen | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | dillern | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Sönder | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Ejsern | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | magi | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boller dig også i morgen | 3 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | dillern | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Sönder | 1 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dillern | 93 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Boller dig også i morgen | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | magi | 9 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sönder | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ejsern | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boller dig også i morgen | +6.58 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | magi | +2.95 | 94 | 62 |
| #3 | Sönder | +2.23 | 60 | 45 |
| #4 | dillern | +0.02 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | ✪ Ejs1ng | -0.21 | 48 | 50 |





