










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 18% |
| Smokes | 189 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 227 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,293 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yamada | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | NightF1y | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Yeswally1 | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | criminalmane | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Bruno Mars | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sly groper | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Oggy | 31% | 29 |
| #10 | Vibeke77BT | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | ryyd | 14% | 7 |
| #12 | BEHM <3 | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruno Mars | 5 | 0.0526 |
| #2 | ryyd | 4 | 0.0282 |
| #3 | Oggy | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | criminalmane | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Yeswally1 | 1 | 0.0028 |





