








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 176 | 14% |
| Smokes | 447 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 283 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 385 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $303,166 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | sly groper | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | NightF1y | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Oggy | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | Alek | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oggy | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Velcro strap | 5 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Yamada | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | NightF1y | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | sly groper | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oggy | 262 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | sly groper | 72 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Yeswally1 | 63 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Alek | 57 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yamada | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | criminalmane | +2.63 | 91 | 36 |
| #2 | DJ DRINK TO MUCH | +1.67 | 59 | 55 |
| #3 | Oggy | +1.33 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | NightF1y | +0.75 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | Bruno Mars | +0.30 | 40 | 66 |





