








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4564 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7707 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4743 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3999 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,926 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 304 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪ SFZ †=♥ | 49% | 90 |
| #9 | ch.1 | 48% | 85 |
| #10 | Silent | 44% | 79 |
| #11 | acropHe | 43% | 47 |
| #12 | J? | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | acropHe | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Gauta.- | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Blue | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Silent | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Nezz | 2 | 0.0014 |





