








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1023 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,954 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WEBZ.GG | 47% | 36 |
| #2 | Sharkey⚝ | 47% | 47 |
| #3 | Meeso | 43% | 77 |
| #4 | Troy Boy | 42% | 48 |
| #5 | REE | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharkey⚝ | 131 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Meeso | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Troy Boy | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | WEBZ.GG | 40 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | REE | 29 | 0.10 | 0 min |





