








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2237 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2641 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1119 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1802 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $828,153 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | choj | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | dogwithegg | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Fonzera | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Superious | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | Алёша | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Superious | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | Алёша | 52% | 65 |
| #6 | JimmersTR | 48% | 99 |
| #7 | noodle | 47% | 99 |
| #8 | dj | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmersTR | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Алёша | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | dj | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | dogwithegg | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Fonzera | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmersTR | 506 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Fonzera | 214 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | noodle | 187 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Алёша | 181 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Superious | 178 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Алёша | +1.54 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | dj | +1.19 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | noodle | +0.82 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | Superious | +0.76 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Fonzera | +0.44 | 79 | 71 |





