








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 328 | 33% |
| Smokes | 152 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 347 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,115 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marre | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | louwrens de palingboer | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Hayden | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Purple | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | mcmuzzers | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Purple | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | mcmuzzers | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | Bush | 40% | 45 |
| #7 | Lashricaz | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | Şnæk🐍 | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcmuzzers | 10 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | Bush | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Şnæk🐍 | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Purple | 2 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | Hayden | 2 | 0.0286 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mcmuzzers | 154 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bush | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Şnæk🐍 | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lashricaz | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hayden | 12 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marre | +8.25 | 93 | 76 |
| #2 | Şnæk🐍 | +6.47 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | Hayden | +2.59 | 66 | 53 |
| #4 | Bush | +1.62 | 79 | 36 |
| #5 | louwrens de palingboer | -0.74 | 44 | 55 |





