








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1625 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1634 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1508 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,002,633 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AG | 53% | 86 |
| #2 | ✪Sparta | 49% | 181 |
| #3 | ButterMonkey™ | 47% | 204 |
| #4 | rhN ` | 46% | 182 |
| #5 | Ej ™ | 45% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AG | 53% | 86 |
| #2 | ✪Sparta | 49% | 181 |
| #3 | ButterMonkey™ | 47% | 204 |
| #4 | rhN ` | 46% | 182 |
| #5 | Ej ™ | 45% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButterMonkey™ | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ✪Sparta | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | rhN ` | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ej ™ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | AG | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButterMonkey™ | 373 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | rhN ` | 372 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪Sparta | 188 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ej ™ | 137 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | AG | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButterMonkey™ | +1.26 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪Sparta | +1.18 | 73 | 46 |
| #3 | AG | +1.08 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | rhN ` | +0.86 | 55 | 69 |
| #5 | Ej ™ | +0.03 | 53 | 60 |





