








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 934 | 25% |
| Smokes | 988 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 827 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,342 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theft3000 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | mei mei cat | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | mitzy!!! | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | CC3ptic-12-<ASUS> | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | barf | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | impale | 60% | 10 |
| #8 | hovr | 59% | 39 |
| #9 | PoweredAqua | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | ♡ 𝓇𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓎 | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | 希林娜依 | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hovr | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 希林娜依 | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | ♡ 𝓇𝒾𝓁𝑒𝓎 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | impale | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | mei mei cat | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hovr | 153 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | mei mei cat | 72 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #3 | impale | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | 希林娜依 | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | barf | 19 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mei mei cat | +5.02 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | CC3ptic-12-<ASUS> | +3.25 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | mew | +3.02 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | impale | +1.61 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | barf | +0.59 | 66 | 58 |





